You Didn't Have To Say You Loved Me
by Ben Hallport
Summary: Takes place after season 3. Alex is in the hospital for her injuries from the attack. Just a little one shot I threw together after listening to You Don't Have To Say You Love Me by Dusty Springfield.


It was quiet as most hospitals are at 2 am. Not much more than the occasional sound of nurses walking down the long sterile hallways or the steady beeping of monitors dutifully keeping track of her breathing and steady heart beat. But the quiet was unnerving after spending so long in a prison that is never quiet. It set her on edge every small noise sent the quiet monitor into a fix causing the nurse closest to her room hurrying to check on her. More often than not after a quick check of the monitors they would leave with a pitying look.

They knew why she was here, why her right wrist was cuffed to the plastic bed rail and a guard would sit in or right outside her room every day. They knew and it cut her with every look they gave her. Though the only looks she saw where from the night nurses she knew that all day while she slept pity was being sent her way. And she hated it. But there was nothing she could do about it. So she would sleep during the day and try to keep herself calm at night.

"How are you feeling tonight Alex?" The blonde night nurse asked walking into the room giving her a soft smile.

"I've been better." She says watching as the nurse checks over her stats before turning back to her.

"I would hope." The nurse says with a chuckle. Alex smiles softly causing her skin to pull at the stitches on her cheek. "I can't stay and chat tonight I promised Joan I'd help her study for her exam, but I brought you something. I left it at the nurses station so I'll be right back."

Before Alex can stop her the blonde is already out the door. This wasn't the first time she brought something for Alex. Three weeks into her hospital stay and Alex had read through five books and dozens of magazines. There wasn't much to do during the dark nights other than watch infomercials on the crappy tv or count the times the nurses passed her room. Or worst of all imagine what it would be like when she returns to prison, to Piper and the mess she left there. So she had started asking for things to read anything to keep her mind off her life and the shit show that was waiting for her. The blonde nurse was the only one who ever gave her anything though and when she finished the books they would talk about them. It was a strange almost friendship but it helped on the nights when panic wrapped its cold winding fingers around her and refused to let her go.

"I know I promised to bring in that book, but I haven't finished reading it yet so I thought this might be an ok substitute." The nurse says. Britney, Alex remembers after catching a glimpse at her id card. She's holding a older looking radio like the ones they have back at the prison. Big and square, a knob to dial in the signal and a wheel for the volume. "I don't know how good of a signal you'll get in here but I thought it was better than those dumb infomercials."

"Thanks." Alex says adjusting herself so she's sitting up more. "But you know you don't have to keep bringing me things."

"But who else would I get to discuss the ending to '1984' with?" She says with a smile handing the radio over to Alex.

"True." Alex says with a chuckle. "Thank you, really."

"It's no problem really." Britney says. "If you need anything just ring. We're just going to be at the nurses station."

"Alright."

With a nod the blonde leaves the room and the defining silence settles over her once again. Alex looks over the old radio, a twinge resonating through her when she recognizes it as the same model her mother kept in there small kitchen that filled there home with music. Over come with nostalgia she starts searching for the channel her mother would listen to every Sunday night. She was surprised when she actually found it sure that it wouldn't be broadcasted way out there. Setting the radio on the small table beside her bed Alex closed her eyes and imagined she was back in her childhood home with her mother singing loud and off key in the kitchen on her only night off.

She listens as The Supremes sing about kisses of fire and The Ronettes ask her to be there baby. She listens to Carole King sing the best song she's heard about raspberry jam and The Shirelles regale her in all the wisdom there mama told them. It isn't until Aretha Franklin is singing about her love that nobody is like that her mind slips from those Sunday nights with her mother to the nights she spent in countless cities with Piper. The night they spent in some secluded jazz bar Piper had found in Paris. Or the night when they stayed locked away in there hotel room, swaying slowly to Billie Holiday sing about this thing called love, wrapped up in each others arms.

There are tears in her eyes as The Flamingos confess they only have eyes for her and she wishes Piper could have had there dedication. She does her best to keep the tears at bay until The Drifters start to ask her, loneliness or happiness and her walls start to break as tears slip down her face. She's just about calmed herself when the familiar blaring horns introduces Dusty Springfield to the quiet of Alex's room.

' _When I said I needed you_

 _You said you would always stay_

 _It wasn't me who changed but you_

 _And now you've gone away'_

Alex can practically feel her heart break at the haunting reminder of the new Piper walking the halls of Litchfield, no trace of her Piper left anywhere.

' _Don't you see_

 _That now you've gone_

 _And I'm left here on my own_

 _That I have to follow you_

 _And beg you to come home?'_

Alex would never beg for anything, she's too proud. But she would do anything to bring her Piper back.

' _You don't have to say you love me_

 _Just be close at hand_

 _You don't have to stay forever_

 _I will understand_

 _Believe me, believe me_

 _I can't help but love you_

 _But believe me_

 _I'll never tie you down'_

She's full on crying now, tears flowing freely down her face.

' _Left alone with just a memory_

 _Life seems dead and so unreal_

 _All that's left is loneliness_

 _There's nothing left to feel'_

No matter how hard she tries Alex can't stop the sob that bursts from her between he clenched shut lips. Pain ripples through out her body not just from the three week old beating she took but from the truthfulness of the song. She has nothing left, nothing but memories. She's lost her Mother, her job and power that came with it, and thrice now she's lost the love of her life. There was nothing waiting for he once she was done with her time.

' _You don't have to say you love me_

 _Just be close at hand_

 _You don't have to stay forever_

 _I will understand_

 _Believe me, believe me'_

She sobs as quietly as she can not wanting to bring attention to herself.

' _You don't have to say you love me_

 _Just be close at hand_

 _You don't have to stay forever_

 _I will understand_

 _Believe me, believe me, believe me'_

Alex sits silently, tears sliding down her cheeks as the radio plays on oblivious to the pain it had brought to the surface. She had no idea what was going to happen once she was out of this hospital room and back in her bunk at Litchfield. But she knew she had to get Piper back, get her Piper back, to fix what had happened. Alex doesn't want loneliness she wants happiness. She wants her forever happiness with Piper back. Because Piper didn't have to say that she loved Alex it was always there. They were inevitable.


End file.
